Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
time to smoke my breakfast
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Panties = found
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
