Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
