I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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