McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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