all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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