Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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