ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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