I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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