Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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