Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
