dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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