I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
