btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
