Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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