And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
