Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just threw up on my dentist
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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