i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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