i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
