Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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