i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just gargled with NyQuil
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
