I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
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I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
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We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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