I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
