How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize