But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Farmville is her only friend.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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