We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
