We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
