I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
