Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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