I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize