It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
