So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
