I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
