I'm eating all of the evidence.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
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He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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