you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
