just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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