This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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