i may or may not be watching the land before time
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize