Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
