Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
