you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We need to get me chipped asap
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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