i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
