you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
