I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
