So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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