I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
