take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
