We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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