btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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