My pussy is not your playground.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
