real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
