i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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