sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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