I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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