addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
