I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
