hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
