Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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