I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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