i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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