hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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