mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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