Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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