and you said cock pushups were impossible
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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