She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
