if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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